Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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