Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
