At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
