I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
is it fun? or sober?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
