I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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