just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
