it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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