I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
