She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
