I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
