Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
pray to the hookup gods
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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