2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize