My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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