i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
