I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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