I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
