Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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