no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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