I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
