Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
