dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize