this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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