note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I cut my penus on the lid.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
