can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
