"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The adults are the big ones right?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
