What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
