Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
