i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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