so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
