fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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