Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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