I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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