We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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