yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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