Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize