I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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