His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
