my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm passing your future prison.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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