Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
