and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
