I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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