I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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