Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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