my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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