he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize