dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
