dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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