just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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