I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
