My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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