You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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