i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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