he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize