If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Did I show you my penis last night?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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