Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My friends, they love my intelligence
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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