So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
