He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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