And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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