i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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