ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So drunk its hurt
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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