I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
