I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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