would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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