woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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