its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The adults are the big ones right?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize