I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
