I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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